Vehicular Harassment

Sigh.

I don’t pretend that my wee white Starlet* is actually ‘all that’ to look at. She’s not a get your heart racing sort of vehichle. More a comfortable sturdy sensible single girl’s car.

For a comfortably sturdy sensible single girl.

Her name is Dolly (sad but true) because she struck me upon first meeting, as being reminiscent of a then famous sheep, and as Dolly [the car] could be considered fairly manufactured and not unlike every other Starlet on the road, the nomenclature seemed appropriate….

However, the story of her name is not the essence of the discussion.

The story of her manhandling at the hands of another is.

Last Friday, while loitering outside a local coffee establishment an overbearing 4×4 touched her none too gently on her rear quarters.

‘Ooh-Er Madam’ and ‘Oh How Rude’ spring immediately to mind.

Now getting touched up is none too uncommon in these here parts, there are many a 4 wheeled vehicle on the local roads and close contact is to be expected upon occasion. Actually this is the 3rd time Dolly has been ‘touched up’ since I’ve had her. I’m almost used to it.

However, it is usual for the touch-er to apologise for being so rough and ready and to do what they can to make amends.

Customary yes…

But not everyone behaves according to custom, do they?

The 4×4 driver in question was a ‘soccer mum’ and as she reversed away from the kerb she took a fair bit of Dolly’s paint with her.

How Rude. Actually what’s ruder is that that she didn’t stop, she pulled a face at the man on the kerb who raised his hands in alarm and in question and she put her pedal to the metal and buggered off.

[insert image of Dee jumping up and down on the kerb saying all manner of things under her breath]

[Remove image] ACTUALLY, Dee, in her pre coffee state didn’t even notice and it fell to the witnessing man (I luff him) to tell me what it was he saw and to point out the damage. And to pass me a business card with a string of six numbers and letters and a description of the car and phone number where he can be reached. [insert image of Dee giving man a kiss]

[take image back, he was old and not very attractive – but luffly all the same].

So, in scene two Deeleea is leaning over the counter talking to a very luffly constable, blonde, blue eyes, sigh… uniform. [insert mental image of luffly constable leaning back over the counter and kissing Dee] actually, he is taking her statement and trying to track down the evil soccer mum. With no success.

He was even unable to simply supply a phone number which I could call to give her a piece of my mind…

But, says the luffly copper, if I was patient, he could get on his bike the following week when he was back on shift, and pay the nasty bint a lesson… Would I mind waiting? (By the way, he didn’t actually say the nasty bint part…)

Dee thinks “No sirree Bob I wouldn’t mind if it meant I could leave you my number” … A small sigh, escapes her lips, she bats eyelashes, drops head and looks through them with a shy smile… and spells out number…

So… sigh…

He called me.

And gave me her name and insurance details and an apology and an explanation for the face she pulled to the witness… (it goes something like… “I didn’t think I’d hit her”) and rang off before I could engage him in flirtatious conversation…

Damn that man….

So, the case is closed the insurance dudes are processing my claim and I”m dropping my car off in the morning for some care and attention and the right kind of touching up… but in all of this it hasn’t been mentioned that the damage the soccer mum had done very neatly covered up the damage Dolly’s dizzy owner had done backing out of a parking space a little too closely to the pillar only a few weeks ago.

So, it’s entirely possible that the jumping up and down on the kerb was more of a celebration… in that the dizzy owner is now laughing all the way to the panel beaters…

And she’s wondering if [the] Good Lord could be thanked for setting up so neat a scenario as to save her a $450 dollar excess…

I like to think so…

*Not acutally the wee white starlet in question, but an accurate representation nonetheless…