So, if you’re a Kiwi of my vintage you may understand the reference above. Once upon a time there was an ad on the telly for the ‘Smokefree Rally of NZ’ and two possums in the middle of the road see a car coming… with the anticipated results. Those who follow me on twitter may guess the reference I’m making to it today,..
He was subtle about it, of course, because to actively shout out to me would not be seemly, But, coughs and throat clearings, heavy sighs and moving in and out of the security’s sensor to flick the light on and off also featured. When I didn’t look up (I had noticed early on in the show when his back (thank goodness) was turned) he crossed the window in my kitchen to sit his (NAKED) butt down on my patio chairs.
To give him the benefit of the doubt I’ll go out on a limb and say it may merely have been that he was hot (only in the temperature sense of the word) as last night was particularly warm and humid. However, as he was outside for about an hour between the hours of 1 and 2 and as I was also up between those hours (fully clothed I might add) there did appear to be an element of ‘creepy’ about the whole situation.
I maintained an ‘ignorantly blissful’ demeanour the whole time. I noticed him early on and as such spent the hour ignoring him. Once I’d finished my final Christmas preparations (at around 1.45) I turned out the lights, showered and went to bed.
At this point the Streaker (as he shall now be called) spent the next half an hour cruising outside my bedroom window. Again, huffing and puffing, grunting (omg please don’t let me think about what THAT might have meant) and again, trying to elicit some response from me. I ignored him, switched out the light, hung my rug against the window to block some of the flickering light from the security lamp, plugged in my earplugs and went to sleep.
So yeah, 2009 will go down in my history as not so much of the old ‘Silent Night…
or Holy Night, for that matter…
Ian says
Oh my.
Certainly not a dull Christmas.
Prayers and best wishes for a more visually appealing Christmas day! Merry Christmas!
misslisa says
he he heee, holy night, I”m going to giggle for hours now ;) … and yes, you’re much more patient than me, I would’ve had the police on his butt as a pervert in about 2 nanoseconds after the afore mentioned ‘holy’ had hit the patio chair – can we say ‘domestos giganticus’? ;)
Jackie says
Oh my goodness. Ugh ugh ugh. I hope he sat on some holly.
smudgie says
Only just spotted this blog, Dee. Oh my! Sheds quite a new light on neighbourly relations. Shame you didn’t get a pea-shooter for Christmas.
kerensa says
Good job he was Down Under (ahem, so to speak) rather than here in the Northern Hemisphere. He might have found it a bit chilly in the nether regions for such shenanigans in the snow.
I think I’d have been on the phone to the police station with Miss Lisa so he could have spent the rest of his holy night singing “Ding Dong Merrily on High” in the slammer.
Smudgie says
Kerensa, it is a matter of great relief to me to read your comment and remember that Australia really is ..er… Down Under. My visual image of Deeleea’s post (ugh-yes-visual image-ugh) did include quantities of frost and snow. Though on consideration, it did make the visual image a little more interesting.
Yes, I think I’d have been on the phone to the police too…. once I’d stopped the Smudgelet giggling hysterically.
Unordered says
Oh My Goodness Gracious Me!! You were very calm.