Dating Church Boys – Part 1

It’s my view that one of the nicest things anybody ever said about me went something like this
“She can come by again, she’s normal.”
I’m serious, it was just about the biggest compliment… ever.
Ok, so this may not strike you as particularly unusual but the line was delivered by the brand new husband of a close friend, who had a bit of a phobia about people of the ‘Christian persuasion’. More specifically people of the branch of the Christian persuasion that I represent [as a staff member and church member, not as an official spokesperson or anything].
Good on you Howzit. You totally recognize quality.
Of course, in some Christian circles to be recognized thus may in fact mean I’m carrying a first class, one way, ticket to ‘you know where’.
Let’s examine the evidence.
I drink alcohol.
I say ‘Oh My God!’ sometimes.
I also say Bugger! (and Bloody Hell!).
and sometimes, if I’m really angry enough… I’ve been known to say F*ck (- look, I’m hopeless I can’t even bring myself to write it down…).
I go to the movies – sometimes on a Sunday.
I play cards.
Sometimes I don’t even go to church on a weekend.
I’ve been known to dance (but you’ll find no evidence to prove it while I yet live).
I’m gambling away $13 bucks in a footy tipping competition this year.
I know, I can hear the sharp intake of breath from here. Scandalous.
I can’t even give you a list of things that I do (or don’t do) which negates the above and proves to you what a good Christian girl I am because actually, for me, being a good Christian girl stopped being about what I do a really long time ago.
[ Ed. Ok this is the part where it gets a bit airy fairy and spiritual… you can cut to the bottom if you like.}
This is largely because being a Christian suits me a lot better when it’s a faith about God and who he is and what he did on my behalf. It’s about being loved by the man (JC) and loving him in return. It isn’t about a religion, a set of rules, imposed on me by man (albeit on Gods behalf.)
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not now saying that everything is permissable as though this human imposition of divine rule of law has been the only thing keeping me from total ‘licence to thrill’. (Let’s face it, if that were the case I’d have shacked up long ago… ) Actually it’s more about the fact that in knowing God and loving him I actually don’t want to live short of his ideal. Which is kind of bizarre bearing in mind of course that I know I’m never going to be able to get it perfect. One could even suggest that as I’m never going to get it right I might as well just slough off the weight of faith and go for gold..
Ah well, I tried it for a while but actually I just can’t bring myself live that hedonistically long term and still be happy. I’m fortunate then that His affection for me transcends my [apparently] miserable failure to be perfect and actually goes to my core. The who I am… Dee… valuable simply because I’m me.
Living like this totally takes the pressure to perform right off. And totally makes me more normal looking to the people outside of this peculiar Christian universe and means that I [like Bono] could say Fuck It [ooh, I can’t believe I did that] and not fear retribution, (except were it from a priest or congregation member reading over my shoulder)
I’m thinking about all these things because, as I mentioned above, there are some people within the Christian persuasion who would consider me far from normal and perversely they’re the ones I’m quite likely to say Bugger in front of just to watch them choke.
Oh, and because the Bloody Hell boy actually called me tonight and I suspect he’s just one of those sorts of Christians…
Which tempts me to declare…
Game
On.