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Small Mercies

June 12, 2008 by

I’m so bored with being pissed off and upset about stuff I can’t change.  Work’s been challenging, you know that, and I’m more than frustrated that I can only really ever change MY reactions to stuff that goes on around me.  Same for any of us really, we do what we can to encourage change, but sometimes the changing of a situation, a policy, an inujustice is just not up to us. 

I’m not ashamed to admit that this really ticks me off that it’s always seems to be me that has to bend… because in any hierachical organisation sometimes we have to have a measure of trust in the leadership that ‘they know best’ and that we, the underlings, must put our heads down and do the work and let the bosses be the boss.

And so I have to deal with my reactions to the things I see from down below that are not the way I want them.  It could be that I’m right but I’m nobody to be saying to my CEO or COO that they’re wrong… that would be suicide, well, career suicide, anyway…  I have occasional opportunity to speak up… but I’m not currently trusting that my thoughts or words carry any kind of weight… which is a shame given that I’m one of the longer serving administrators on the staff. 

So really, spending all this time being pissed off and angry is a bit pointless.  Problem is, pissed off and angry for me usually turns into heartbroken, so I’ve been pissed off, angry and desperately sad.  These are the sorts of feelings I’ve been working through in recent weeks, and I guess given that I’ve been in this environment for close to 10 years some kind of shift and adjustment every couple of years is to be expected.  Nothing is smooth sailing forever, and it’s been 4 years since the last upheaval… So, I’m due.

And no, I’m not leaving until I know the time is right… and I’m convinced that the time isn’t right… when it is, I’ll know…

So,in the middle of all of that upheaval it’s nice to have a small diversion to colour the world a bit pinker… even if it is at the small expense of somebody else…

 

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I love this…

June 8, 2008 by

 

Lost count of how many times I’ve watched it

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1,2,3… 99,100,101…

May 10, 2008 by

If I was asked to count my blessings after a day like today I should find it very difficult to know how to stop.  There really are, just too many.

It’s been a month since I actually had my birthday, my 40th birthday, which I celebrated with my fabulous family in NZ, but I only celebrated it with my Australian family today due to all manner of work commitments and busyness in the intervening time.

I stood on the step looking out at everyone assembled, such a diverse group, all of them with different connections some to each other but all of them connected to me somehow and I was blown away.

I have some utterly terrific friends.

There’s the Packrats and Shoo who let me have the party at their place.  Poor Shoo spent the whole day in massive pain with a back thing (waaaah not fair, universe!).   Fabulous house, nice little verandah to perform from (the party was an ‘open mic’ afternoon… just to give my choir a chance to sing – others participated too… was fab!).  It was utterly perfect venue, well complemented by the gorgeous afternoon!! 

There’s the Captain and his two girls who charmed everybody with a rendidtion of Elevator Love (a capella, the brave little souls) which was delightful.  The Captain gave a lovely speech though he outed me as ‘hormonal’ at work… really, I think I’m just a stroppy bint some of the time… but maybe that’s the definition of hormonal… who knows?

There’s my fabulous bestest mate Kirk, the guy, and their kids who have added me to the fabric of their family.  I would be lost without them.  Kirk’s my right hand in the choir and so much more.  Not enough words to describe how important they are in my world.  Not nearly enough.

There’s Flash who wrote me a poem.  Not just any poem but a real live beatnik poem complete with the blowing out of a candle at the end.  (Atmospheric babe, atmospheric.)  I’ll wager that it was the first ever beatnik poem whose primary subject was a geek girl… I’ll wrestle him for the text of it and post it here… it really was too funny… in fact I might even record him reciting it…  Look out….

There were our awesome choir members, a few missing but it was great to give them a chance to show off, and for me to do a little soloing.. (it was MY party and I sang because I WANTED to…).  What a sterling bunch of people… we just need to get a whole lot more rehearsing in and a decent repertoire so we can do a show at the end of the year.  It would be great fun…

There are the Dgroup girls – Kafx who I work with and who squeals lovingly at me often, and the others who I’ve really only been getting to know this year, and who I want to spend a whole lot more time with, what fab chicks!!  (PIA, going to fortnightly hang-outs was inspired!).

The food was plentiful, the tiny bass amp that ‘the guy’ bought along was more than enough to amplify us, (thank goodness i didn’t hire one in) and people stayed all afternoon, no one was in any great hurry to leave.  So we must have got something right!

There are so may others I could mention, I’d be here (in bed!) all day, there were about 40 people there.  But to top it all off Coldie called me up as I was packing the last of the stuff into the car and invited me out to a movie, just so I wasn’t going home to hang out in an empty (very untidy) house after leaving the afternoon on such a high!  Thoughtful, huh??  We saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day and were charmed by it.  Cute story, set beautifully in the 1940’s such fabulous style!  The perfect end to an absolultely fabulous day.

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Ecumental

April 27, 2008 by

What happens when an Anglican, an Orthodox, a Baptist and a Pentecostal all sit down for lunch? Almost 3 hours of conversation and laughter!!!

Ba-dum Tish!

Ian, Yay, Semele and I, met up for a somewhat annual Anzac Day (ish) wibmeet at the Wok Bar today.

It really is lovely to sit at a restaurant on the deck with the sea breeze keeping the air fresh on such a lovely autumn afternoon, even lovelier to do so in such good company! No shortage of things to talk about and at least one outlandish topic of conversation, this pretty normal for us. This time around it was the suggestion of a new ministry, an Orthodox/Pentecostal fellowship headed up by Ian, I think I’ll be called in for Pentecostalising such a congregation… could be fun…

We finished of our lunch (3 pad thais – pads thai? and a Vietnamese beef salad – followed by fried icecream for 2 and death by chocolate and warm iced chocolate for others) with fortune cookies… I believe the others will post the contents of theirs… mine was … “Be on alert for a new opportunity” It sounds very like a prophecy I had once (oops, that Pentecostalism just slipped out… ) I’ll let you know if anything comes of it!!

All in all it’s been a fabulous week/weekend with one thing and another… still, I’m looking forward to the day off tomorrow and a the chance to relax a little… it’s been full speed ahead for quite some time!

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