I am not a smoker.

Once I was *shuffles her feet embarassed like*

But I am not anymore *smiles*

I went to lunch to celebrate the 1st anniversary of the arrival of my Godson JJ today. His Nan smokes.

Now it smells like I do, though I have changed my clothes and everything.

It’s not lovely, even though I used to think it was.

It doesn’t taste lovely either.

Sigh.

Time Check: 1:24am.

No yawning

No blinking

Sigh

I have Milo made with milk cooling beside me [yawns] and [yawns]. a head full of plans for my 4 day weekend And a massive case of the guilts.

Sigh

The Romme girls met tonight to say hooray to JK who is going to London to go to work… Today being the 22nd and all, a day I have had booked out in my brain calendar for months.

I got an email to remind me about the farewell Romme game and Pizza Night while I was in NZ and once again I pinged the internal calendar to remember the 22nd and go to T’s house for pizza and cards.

Except that my internal calendar set to 2006 not 2005. I thought the 22nd was Saturday.

It wasn’t.

So I got a call from T saying “Are you coming?” while I was up to my elbows in steak and stirfry and halfway down a bottle of Shiraz.

Clearly I wasn’t coming…

Gulp.

Two month’s plans.

What a complete Stuff Up. Sigh Ed. I would have said Cock Up but I’m not so polite

So JK is going to England without having said goodbye to me in person, the Romme kitty has been spent without Bet and I because she is in NZ and I am a complete drop kick. And T, the newest member of our wee card party thinks I am completely stupid and irresponsible and flicked the party because it was at her house, and she and I do not see eye to eye.

Instead I had dinner with Skeeter which was Looong overdue and a case of the guilts which is keeping me awake.

I guess you can’t have it all!

I have discovered the joy of achieving great things by not going to work.

Hah.

No early morning staff meeting.
No washing up roster.
No interruptions.
No “Dee, could you just help me on this?”
“Or this?”
“Or that???”

Nope, today, capitilising on my fragile state (I have a cold) and the fact that the church yoof are having a monumentally ear splitting conference at the moment I elected to Work From Home.

Marvellous isn’t it? Having a web based job and a tidy laptop to work on!

I managed to work my way through ‘Cold Mountain’ on DVD, all the episodes of CSI:NY and Miami that I missed while I was away, and a Cold Case and Without a Trace episode each for good measure!!!

It was brilliant!

I do have to say in my defence, that work got more attention than the TV. (Just in case anyone from work is reading this…)

Happily, it is true. I didn’t even manage to get emotionally involved enough in Cold Mountain to cry so that was good.

Because I hate movies that make you cry. Really hate them.

And so, I have an ecard for our next big secret men’s business gig to show for my efforts and lots of speedy email replies sent and only 3 hours of tv to catch up on.

I think the weather forecast for tomorrow suggests Working From Home would be advisable for those afearing that wind and rain will make their delicate health even more fragile.

So, if you were looking for me tomorrow (or Friday) may I suggest come back next week… On Wednesday… because the weekend will be 4 days long for me and the rest of the staff…

*smirk*

Yep.

Home.

Right here back in Australia.

At the risk of amusing Miss Lisa even further I will try and keep this post perhaps a little less poetical than the post on the occasion of arriving back in NZ… Still, the holiday back home has certainly given me much Food for Thought and has settled the moving back dilemma for the immediate and not so immediate future.

In short… Here in Sydney is plenty close enough to NZ and plenty far away enough as well.

New Zealand itself has changed a lot since I left …

1. Prostitution has been legalised.
2. Civil Unions between homosexual couples will have legal recognition on a par with marriage from April 26th of this year.
3. The Death with Dignity bill was only just defeated by 2 votes in Parliament in 2003.

These are issues I believe have really tainted the atmosphere in NZ. I am by no means glorifying Australia’s political atmosphere but NZ used to have an innocence about it and it seems to me the seriously liberal government there is hell bent on turning NZ into a poster child for Humanism and the Utopian ideal. Makes me cringe. Ed. “Pardon me Dee but your right wing sensibilities are showing” “Shut up Ed. I am of the Conservative Element. There I said it…”

*listens* Oh good, you are still there… I can hear you breathing.

So the prospect of returning to the fresh, innocent NZ of my youth, is gone.

However, Ticker, the new addition to the deeleea clan is lovely… and the time with Scooter and Jem and Kit et al was lovely too. I am definitely a Kiwi girl still but let’s just say that one can have somewhat misty impressions of life in the green green grass the other side of the fence.

If I can get my cr*p sorted out here, sometime, somehow maybe I’ll be less inclined to look for other options. If I think about it, it isn’t actually the place I’m unhappy with at the moment.

It’s me.