This is kind of a chicken or an egg scenario… Which comes first? Feeling good about yourself or taking time on (and a bit of pride in) one’s appearance? I think it is an interesting question… It is born out of my current situation which goes something like this…

I have been remarkably lazy about certain morning routines like blow-drying my hair with any great style in mind and in the application of make-up… In turn I have been going through my daily tread feeling less than attractive and less than interesting. Which came first? Am I less interested in taking care of these things because I feel blah or do I feel blah because I am not focusing on how I look?

Other contributing factors:

1. My wardrobe needs an overhaul and some serious augmentation…
2. My comfortable upholstery got somewhat more comfortable over the winter (contributing in part to the wardrobe dilemma)
3. I have been decidedly uncaring concerning the food that I choose
4. I have been equally uncaring about getting out of bed to exercise (this is contributed to in part by the wardrobe dilemma … I need new tracky daks (track pants for the unAustralians))

Here’s the thing. I decided to wear rather fetching clobber to work on Tuesday. Make-up included. For some reason this motivated me to make my own lunch, a tasteful yet healthy salad, and also to purchase fresh vegies and chicken (no carbs) for dinner and choose against dessert and chocolate during the day.

I think the choice to love myself came first. I simply decided I was worth making the effort for. Having decided I was worth painting a face on in the morning flowed over into

1. I am worth nourishing with the right food
2. I am worth accessorizing
3. I am worth dressing in fine linen (once payday has come and gone)
4. I am worth a second glance

I will be worth walking the beach once again too… soon… I mean it!

I accept that changing one’s internal dialogue is simpler for some than others. There are all sorts of hindrances to such change… historical mindsets, conditioning etc. I am neither so naive as to suggest that I, in and of myself, have the power to change internal dialogue like this in my own strength. That’s where the God factor is amazing.

I was aware I needed, for my health’s sake and the sake of my self esteem, to change my diet. So I began to pray for a change of heart and mind about me – not food. That’s where God has an opportunity to go to work.. Give him an inch…

Well… it has worked for me so far. A simple change of mind has changed a whole series of behaviours.

I guess the next question is “How Long will it Last?”

Good Question. I will add stickability to the prayerlist… Shooting for indefinitely though…

I am feeling antsy. Can’t sit still and watch tv, feels like such a waste of time so I’m watching TV and blogging… it feels less wasteful…

The crew came over to watch Idol and eat Pavlova last night… well, at least some of the crew.. The usual suspects… Skeet, Surf and Mac. Not sure if I have introduced Mac before, she, like Skeet, is a former flatmate. The three of us go back the furthest in my Australian Circle of Friends. We willingly handed our numbers to Hollywood again and watched Love Actually. Our excuse is that Surf hadn’t seen it.

I am back on the wagon… the food discipline wagon…

Day One… too scared to stand on the scales… will give it a couple of weeks first.

The Song in My Head in the Morning:The Prayer:Anthony Callea (you should have seen it… (Idol) Unbelievable performance…)

It has been another stunning Sydney day… all trace of rain has gone and I spent the afternoon at Palm Beach…

Sigh… way too gorgeous…

Have refined the plan for tomorrow to exclude travelling long distances… Too much risk of getting caught out misbehaving on the roads and losing double demerits quite apart from a desire to avoid traffic getting back into the city…

So tomorrow is a blank page… anything could happen….

Anyway, it’s late and I’m heading for bed…