So Singular in Each Particular
I entered into correspondence and remarked upon Kerrianne’s rather fetching new do last week the end result of which is a promised entry including my very own rather fetching new do… Didn’t think I could go home to NZ this weekend without some kind of ‘revamp.’
Bless me hairdresser for I have sinned… it’s been
6months since my last haircut…
Dear Lord but that I could get it to look like this myself…
I’m tip toeing round a big ‘Wheeeeeeee!’ because the changes you’re seeing right about now in this here humble blog are due to my step up to MT4(Movable Type). And my tiptoeing is because my pain free install has not been shared by ‘our Fi’ over at Kiwifruit.… waaaaaaah. I know when hers is good and going we’ll both be extolling its virtues… so send lots of positive vibes Fi’s way so that she’s back in top form in very short order!!
Do you like the new me? In truth the latest incarnation of me probably ought to be more sophisitcated given my maturing years ,but this little lady was just too ‘me’ to leave langushing in my files… the Mac, the sofa, the brunette… sadly the diminutive stature isn’t quite ‘true to form’, ah well, you can’t have it all… I wish I could say I drew her but I suck at drawing and I’d bought her at istock to use in my birthday party invitations… I found something else that suited those better but I couldn’t bear not to use this illo somewhere else… here seemed a fitting place…
There are a few changes that will creep in in the next few days… I’ve got to get my flickr button back in, among other things… but for now relax, enjoy the new atmosphere at SS. And let me know if having the comments links at the top of the entry is a pain in the proverbial… I’ll move those entry details if they’re inconveniently placed to the general consensus…
Hey, you guys are awesome… unbelievable. So much internet love and sympathy. Even the real life sympathy has been amazing… given the state of me one might well have thought I’d lost a family member. I won’t lie, it totally feels like I did.
This is the last Chino post, and it’s simply because I want to remember all the cool stuff, not because I’m seeking any further sympathies or warm fuzzies, I’ve so appreciated those I received. Really.
Remembering Chino
I delay going to bed till very late and when I get there I take drugs to sleep because Chino used to snuggle up under my chin and in the crook of my shoulder and stay there all night. Sleeping is not the same on my own.
It’s a lot easier to blog, because there isn’t a cat between the mac and my belly. He used to squirrel his way onto my lap regardless of the computer. I had to get used to typing with a somnolent cat’s face pressed into the crook of my elbow. It made typing a bit slower… a bit less comfortable… but it was well cute.
I still turn every time the wind chimes in the garden go off because they sound like the bell on his collar. The one that’s lying on my sideboard, the one that doesn’t ring any more.
I expect him to come running to the sound of my keys as I get out of my car at the end of a day at the office. If he didn’t come straight away it was usually because he was sacked out on the sofa after a day’s adventuring…
I really miss him running up the bench and fridge and skidding to a halt on the top of the dresser when he heard those same keys and knew he was about to get a treat as I made my way out the door. (He hadn’t cottoned on to the fact that he was getting the treat to prevent a fight at the doorway while he tried to get OUT… hah-haaaa suckkah!).
I miss opening the bathroom door and nearly tripping over him on my way out of the shower… he couldn’t bear a closed door…
I miss that he’d come running whenever he heard me pulling out a length of dental floss… it really was his favourite toy! Those crazy contorted pix I took of him some time ago were all about the floss… It go so I had to pull double the length I really needed to accommodate his need to try and attack the end…
I miss the hide and seek… a sure fire way to get him to come to you was to tease him by hiding, or pretending to hide behind a bush in the garden… or behind a door… if you kept peeking out at him and teasing him thus he was guaranteed to come running right back to get me… it was utterly irresistible to him!
I actually miss hearing him trying to break into my bedroom…
I miss rubbing my face in his belly… softer than rabbit fur…
That being said, I actually don’t miss the 6am starts.
The window climbing.
The anxious moments when he didn’t come when he was called.
The lizard presents.
But they’re small potatoes in comparison to missing the unconditional love. I could shut that cat out of my room, leave him on his own for the weekend (which I only did once, mind) spray the living daylights out of him at 2am and throw him off the bed when he was pissing me off.. and he’d STILL come running when he saw me at the end of the day… he’d still snuggle under my chin come bed time. He’d still throw himself at my feet and roll over for a belly rub.
When there ain’t anyone else in your house giving you that kind of loving it’s a pretty tough thing to let go.
In
as in IN over my head.
I wrote recently, a short poem called I’m done. It came at the end of a long struggle about my place, about being called to be what I am and do what I’m doing and it was a relief to have it settled in my head and my heart.
But I didn’t count on finding myself even further at the end of that rope or to find myself looking up the ladder again wondering where it all went so horribly wrong.
Should I be surprised? It isn’t really as though I haven’t looked up before and seen the sky come falling down.
I can’t pretend I’m not affected by both the flu that seems to be bearing down on me and the yawning emptiness of my house without that darn cat, but I had one too many emails today that makes me and my work redundant and so, once again.
I’m done.