My maternal Grandmother died today.
I feel completely untouched by it too so have been reluctant to tell people because I wouldn’t know what to do with the sympathy.
In truth she was my step grandmother but raised my mother from age 4 this is no small achievement considering Mum had 4 older siblings as well. ‘Grandma in Tauranga’ was never really an object of affection for us – a lot of not so happy family history – so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by how I feel. Perhaps had I been in NZ and able to attend the funeral on Monday it might be a different story… Maybe if I saw her or saw Mum’s grief it would be different too
However,
She was a good Presbyterian and sang in the choir
She loved her garden and raised beautiful flowers
She did what she could to raise 5 kids, yet sadly had none of her own.
She found love with a dear friend late in life who’s mind left her long before he did
Her house was always spotless
She used to have us come to stay for holidays
She had a huge grapefruit tree which bore much fruit
Isn’t that weird? I can’t think of anything else…
So there you have it.
My Grandmother died today.
(((dee)))
That’s very much how I felt when both my grandads died (both grandmothers died when I was little). I felt really strange that I didn’t feel much in the way of grief.
I guess life (and death) is kind of like that sometimes.