There’s a line in the movie “Something’s Gotta Give” which goes something like this
Marin (Amanda Peet): … “I’m just not cut out for this kind of drama. “
Erica (Dianne Keaton): “I think it’s the drama in life that makes you strong.”
The context of the quote is Erica is falling apart because a relationship has ended and Marin, who can’t bear the emotional upheaval of that kind of situation, is outlining her reasons for avoiding any sort of relationship that leaves you in that kind of state.
I know how she feels and I wonder if part of the reason there are so many single girls in my acquaintance is that we make that choice to withold and actually withdraw from emotional interaction unless we know it’s safe from hurt.
But really… is it ever safe? Even those relationships that one expects to be the safest rarely are. Family relationships change, pets are not around forever. The truth is, however much we try and avoid it, whether we like it or not, emotional upheaval is a part of life.
I hate that, because I have a tendency to think like Marin. Safest is easiest, I mean, I haven’t even watched the movie ‘Titanic’ from beginning to end… I can’t bear getting that involved with the characters because I know how the movie ends.
So, here I am 36 years old, never having had a really intimate, long term relationship and I can’t help wondering if those sentiments have influenced my relationship life. It is easy to say, “I just don’t think the right guy has come along…” but the fact is, would I have recognized him? Could he have been any number of the guys I have met and discarded at first sight because it was safer not to get involved?
Does my internal thought about relationships create an atmosphere of unavailability around me? I know a heap of guys who are awesome and single and while a lot of what I hear around the place is that they are useless and don’t bother to ask the amazing single girls around here out I have to ask myself, if I was coming across as a little less distant would they would change their tune?… I mean, it’s a two way street right?
So that’s what some of this year has been about… making a decision to take a risk… So, when someone asks I’m going to say YES* even if at first sight I might have thought NO…
At least I’ll be getting out more …
*axe wielding maniacs excepted, of course