Integrity is a bit of an old fashioned word isn’t it? I mean, you don’t hear it that often, yet when someone doesn’t have it you really tread carefully with them, right?
You may remember that a girl bailed on moving in with me before the Count moved in… I thought she was all keen to be my new flatty but she was really just keeping me as an option. Actually, I think she had initially really planned to move in but as the time drew out while Bliss stayed around, the idea began to pale.
Anyway, clearly in my view her integrity was shot given that she upped stakes so close to desperate Dee day. So, when she offered to pay me 2 weeks rent in lieu I accepted her offer yet didn’t actually expect to see the dollars. A couple of weeks passed and I decided to take the bull by the horns and mention it.
I sent a simple email just indicating I would be happy to supply my bank account details. No pressure and no strong demands, just a note by way of gentle reminder. I heard nothing… I shrugged.
Another couple of weeks and still nothing so was feeling as though my lack of faith in her producing the dough was justified. However, I got a reply eventually saying she hadn’t actually budgeted for the money at that point and wasnt getting paid till December. but would see what she could do. I nodded and smiled but kept my expectations low.
Imagine my surprise yesterday to receive an email with a receipt attached for close to the amount in question.
The thing is, it was never about the money though it will be useful. I had felt prompted to contact her because having given her word, if she had never paid, or if she hadn’t rung and reneged it would always be ‘out there’ when we met at church. I wasn’t prepared to live with the awkwardness of having me expecting the money and her feeling guilty over our heads.
I would have been happy with either the money or by her backing out of the deal and apologising because it indicated she had the integrity to do one or the other. (Pardon me Dee, but your judging (ISTJ -Myers/Briggs) streak is showing.)
As it is, I am happy because I got the money AND I can sleep at night, having the rent up to date, and she can rest for having kept her word.
A Win/win I think.
Win/Win indeed. The "it would always be ‘out there’" comment is true…things need to be dealt with.
Fellow "judger". ;-)