.I knew going into this reveal that I was setting myself up to be disappointed. Like I said on Saturday, I know Tez well enough to know that he would have no problem asking if he felt like it. But it doesn’t make it any easier to hear it for sure though does it? The coffin and the nail… hideous.
I really don’t have a whole lot to say (since when???). I guess now comes the process of not allowing my heart to get hard and that nasty period when I have to get over the awkwardness that will colour our pizza nights until we get used to the new glasnost.
I’m over it though (not over him… I’m not superwoman) … but I’m fed up. This is the 2nd time I have had to go through this in the last 8 years and I am really cheesed at God that I am still here looking down the barrel of all those hideous thoughts that you torture yourself with. Spending too much emotional energy imagining why the object of your affection doesn’t look at you with the same eyes.
Last time I went through this all I had to do to get past it was to get on a plane. The temptation to do the same now is strong. Would that it were a little closer to April 2nd.
But, you do what you have to right?
Pick yourself up
Smile again … once an hour, so you don’t forget how
It only takes a second for things to change
Ooh, I’m sorry.
Ouch! Sending a trans-Tassie hug, Dee. At least (and it’s not much) you have closure.
PS Pippa sends a lick.
Hugs and prayers from the other side of Sydney.
I’m sooo sorry, sweetheart.
Here’s a big virtual hug from me.
Jack the Lass says
Well how about that. Miss Lisa and me, at opposite ends of the globe, sending you hugs and good vibes at exactly the same time :)
I could be patronising and say "plenty more fish in the sea" or "it’s his loss" or "there must be someone out there who’s better for you", but when people said that to me I wanted to deck them. So instead I’ll just say: that sucks big time. I’m so sorry, and I really wish it had worked out differently and how you’d hoped. Anyway, more hugs here from the northern hemisphere.
Oh and I dedicated today’s blog entry to you :) Not that that’ll make it any better, but still.
Miss Lisa says
if you put your mind only slightly to the test you will know the two mutual acquaintances that i had feelings for in the last four years …. but through various circumstances have had to push through and realise (to great relief that I’m not with the wrong person) that for me, love and in love are very very close … so time and distance bring perspective … and I love them both now with all my heart and rejoice in the happiness of one with his partner and will rejoice with the other when he reveals his ‘latest’ (you know he loves the girls!) …. that’s all so much blah blah blah when you’re feeling wounded, and nobody feels like hearing common sense at a time like this … especially when they have abundant quantities of it themselves … all that said, i love you, God loves you, Surf, Bliss, all the others love you, and while that’s not the same thing … it’s still there :)
Sending an antipodean hug – you’re a brave woman, and you know you’ll get through this (and a lot better than if you hadn’t had the guts to say how you felt, too).