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Getting in Early

March 9, 2005 by

I am posting once I got home from work rather than waiting until I am ensconced in my bed and fading as it gets later…

Brisbane Discoveries

  1. Paddington – a suburb with very funky shops well worth spending a day to browse. We hit the antiques end of the main drag and didn’t get out of it….
  2. Belgian Hot Chocolate with Chili – As prepared at “Hot Chocolate, Cool Coffee” in Paddington (see above). To die for… really. Went back 3 times … note to self… closed on Mondays.
  3. Queensland Black House Ants – Project one for Bliss… KILL…THEM…ALL. Had to shake them out of my toothbrush before attending to my teeth at bedtime… eeeewwww
  4. Heat – Queensland is Hot… Daaaaamn Hot…
  5. The Welsh Lady – Mmmmm… ’nuff said.

Bliss’ Place in the World.

It was brilliant to see Bliss and to hang out in her new home. It’s a gorgeous wee house and just perfect for her! There are bits and pieces that need doing to it… not the least of which is blocking all the entry ways into the house for the ant colony… But it has all she needs and the fun part is going to be turning it into HER house. I am glad to have been to see it, to see what she is doing, to just plain hang out and to go to church with her.

Part of the reason Bliss moved was to support her friends Mack ‘n Shaz as they plant a church in the western suburbs. What a mission… not one I am cut out for, to be sure… I may have issues with my church sometimes, and more often than I would like lately, but at least there are enough people around to share the load… 47 people in a congregation are a few less than I could get used to… Still, if they keep adding 7 a week as they did last week it won’t be long before it’s big enough to find air conditioned premises…

Running Away

The reason I left town so quickly was to put some distance between my life and me and see if I could get some perspective. I’m not sure I did… My life was still here when I got back. I am really fidgety at the moment. So many of my relationships have changed as people have moved around me and I wonder at times if I too am needing a change. It was Tez who said to me “I am sick of expecting different results from doing the same thing repeatedly”. It’s a good quote and a fair one I think. He was talking about touching God at church and there are elements of that which affect me though I suspect though that my tenuous relationship with God is more to do with me than church. I don’t seem to find him there at the moment which makes attendance a bit of a chore. Still, He wasn’t at church in Brisbane either. It would have been nice if he was, and he was for other people but not for me.

Truth is if he did show up I’m not sure I’d want to see him anyway… Hmm, not true, I would, but would hate for him to see me. Not in the state I’m in. And before you all go adding comments about grace and how he doesn’t see me like I do, please refrain.

My life is a constant tension between yearning for intimacy with Him and fighting against it, yearning for intimacy in an human relationship and freaking when it’s offered.

Sigh. Oh well… tomorrow’s another day. At least work is challenging and terribly interesting at the moment… It’s keeping my head above water until I go to NZ.

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Comments

  1. http://www.kiwifruit-the-blog.co.nz says

    July 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    24 sleeps! I was 41 last time I remember!

    Hope your visit to Aotearoa puts your mind at ease…maybe it’s time to come home?

  2. www.wibsite.com/wiblog/unordered says

    July 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    In my experience fidgety means there’s new stuff to come. The whole not feeling/meeting God thing may force you to look in other places and in different ways for him. It makes the world, and God, so much bigger when you discover him in a new way, in a new place. (Imagine you’re hearing this from a nun, not a penty pastor – it changes the meaning) It helps you discover a bit more about who you are too. That’s my continuing experience anyway.

  3. http://www.wibsite.com/wiblog/arti/ says

    July 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    I can really identify with the push-me-pull-you type feelings regarding intimacy. I don’t have any easy answers though, just to note that for me it has been worth looking at some of the underlying issues and reasons why I behave as I do!

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