Last night I had a great night with Couch (is it ok if I call you that?) and Bliss (who is in town on business this week) Hooray!!!! Over delicious Italian we got discussing our lives and where they are going and what God is doing in our worlds and I started to talk about my business.
(Let me preface by saying that in my mind I am not a business woman, not by any stretch, and yet I am a woman with a business… yikes) Anyhow, as I was talking about what has been happening, and talking about the site I am designing for it I started to feel God on it. (Now; this may be a bit weird and penetecostal for some readers. That’s ok, I will do my best to explain throughout the post so as to alleviate the weirdness…)
I have found in living a life of faith that I’ve had times where I do what I can do and I let God have a hold of the rest. I started a job and things didn’t go so well, but because I believed that it was a God plan in the beginning, I hoped and prayed and trusted that things will come around. And they did. They came around in such a way that it seems bizarre that once I was a secretary and now I am a website administrator and interface creator and it totally blows my mind! In fact in the immortal words from that song in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang “From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!”
So, I find myself doing these crazy jobs and getting great feedback and begin to plan this business but the confidence tricksters came along and levelled me… taking me to that… ‘this is never going to happen’ point and ‘what’s the use’ zone. So, I pulled back and filed it in the too hard basket.
This is how I often operate. Something sounds like a good idea, I pick it up and run with it as far as my confidence will take me and then peter out until the next thing comes along. Confidence will only go so far, my own ability only goes so far. But, the God factor can take over where the confidence and ability leaves off and bring a whole, new, supernatural dimension to circumstance and blow myr mind!
So, here I am, my website has been in mothballs because I couldn’t face the next step to putting it out there in case people actually thought it looked good and I had to deal with new projects… Not a fear of failure.. more a fear of success!!!! And… in discussion with Couch and Bliss as I described what I was working on and how I could see it all happening and what sort of market I was hoping to appeal to, I started to get that tingly, teary feeling I get when God shows up. This kind of tells me that he is at the end of the risk… looking back in is eternal view of time going “Dee… step out… take the risk… I can see it all working out just fine, in fact… beyond your wildest dreams”
I mean, really, what have I got to lose? Nothing! Just time. It isn’t as though, at this stage, I have a whole lot of money tied up in the business, it isn’t like I am risking anything but pride.
So I have been working feverishly since on the site and am 3 pages down and 1 or 2 to go…
I’ll let you know when it’s ready… If I can keep the confidence tricksters at bay…