Well, dinner went.
It went ok.
Nice steak, salad was good, conversation was business as usual.
Mmm that’s not strictly true. Conversation was not strictly business as usual. The conversation had weirdness.
As anticipated I was Out of Sorts. Not just because of the expected weirdness factor (previous post). That was part of it, but it was on top of the Big Project, issues with Church and Work, and family relationships which aren’t in their usual happy state. That and issues with being On the Shelf. This doesn’t usually bother me. I am great at being single but as more members of my family have kids I am less great with the still not a mother thing.
Anyway, that’s all an aside, the issue at hand really is the evening’s weirdnes. Conversation didn’t flow as usual. It was my fault, I was unusually reticent last night, partly because I am angry about lots of these things (above) and an angry deeleea, while it amuses Surf, is more prone to tears than tantrums. The reticence was protective too. I mean, Tez knocked me back before and now he knows how I felt, which makes me vulnerable still, which means he can anticipate how I might feel when things change.
And things have changed.
Tez has got himself a girlfriend.
Like I said,
Oh, sweetie… I’m sorry.