It is by no quirk of fate that I am here. and don’t mean in Australia, or in my bed blogging this post (yes the Dell has moved back to bed, it’s where ’tis warmest), I mean Here, In Existence.
My life is, because of one extraordinary woman. My grandmother. Edna.
As a mother of 4, 2 of them twins, she was diagnosed in 1945 with both breast cancer, and with pregnancy. In 1945 treatment was dangerous, unpleasant and experimental. Drugs to treat one would no doubt finish the other and to her this was untenable. Advised to terminate, to save herself for the sake of the children; she opted instead to do nothing. Nothing; for the sake of the child. Nothing; not even once she delivered, Nothing; till the infant was weaned.
She died when my mother was 3.
Jaq and Jill; twins who shared everything, a womb, a room, a birthday, a diagnosis, scars, prostheses and treatment stories. They shared also the same courageous mother as mine did and now it has been 4 years since Jill died too, that same hideous death 54 years later.
And so here I am, staring down the barrell of a mammogram, with a referral that is 2 months old burning a whole in my diary. And now, thanks to Mrs Brick I am without the excuse of the price for the procedure. She overpaid me enough for a mammogram when I babysat last week. To make sure that I was without that excuse. And it’s been 10 days and her cheque is still burning a hole in my wallet.
Don’t admonish me please, it’s tough enough without being nagged. Just nod and smile as I am making myself accountable to you… Tomorrow I will call the clinic. Admonish me not, for waiting this long, pick up the phone and go and get yourself checked out too.