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Another Bloody Shotgun Letter

October 16, 2005 by

[begin rant]
Thank you Patrick, for your email. I appreciate that you spent a lot of time writing it, and before you get the wrong impression, I am simply replying as a girl who receives a lot of letters like yours.
You see, it is very disheartening to be reading a letter via a dating website, from a man who clearly has not read my profile. Your letter reads as though it is one you have sent out to all the girls at [insert name of dating website] in the hope that someone might not be smart enough to realise you don’t actually know which one has replied.
Your letter has a lot going for it, you are clearly reasonably articulate and your spelling and grammar appears correct, which you may not know is an important thing if you are trying to attract a discerning girl. But you would be a lot better to use fewer words and be more genuine.
If you are writing to attract a girl at least refer to something in particular about her that you found interesting. Clearly you haven’t really read my profile, or you would have seen that I am attractive, and intelligent and also a fairly clever writer, surely that’s enough to get you writing to me rather than the fact I simply have a profile on a dating site a which must mean that I clearly must be desperate enough to respond to any one who writes.
[end]

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