Noo Toof

I have a new tooth.

No, not the kind my nieces and nephews brag about.

It’s like this. My ‘adult’ teeth came through in those early days conditioned with enamel hypoplasia. It’s a deficiency of enamel evinced by discoloration or missing enamel, in fact in my case I was basically missing half a tooth and had an empty patch on the other – the front two of course, not the ones you can’t see!

Having said all that you might not have noticed it from my photos or from having met me in person (Hi Chops, am I right?) this is because I have very cunning dentists with all manner of cloak and dagger concoctions and equipment to disguise such dental imperfections.

This is why I love my dentist. He made my mouth beyootifuler – (at a price, of course). Actually, as the years have gone on it has been a string of dentists whom I have loved for their work on my mouth and who have loved me in return for my wallet. But today I am happy to report that my noo toof cost me nuffing.

And this is why.

I actually had the toof fixed about 2 months ago and on Saturday night it broke in my sleep. That’s the weird part, it was the middle of the night but I wasn’t actually asleep (I don’t think). I woke up round 3, deliberately bit down down hard on the tooth in question, broke it, took the piece out of my mouth and placed it on my bedside table, rolled over and immediately went back to sleep.

It has happened in the past that I have lost the tooth in my sleep (ok, so apparently I grind) but on those occasions I have been woken with a dream of eating gravel (gag) – this time I am sure I was fully conscious.

So why didn’t my brain override the decision my subconsions made to break the tooth?

I don’t know.

Anyway, my last [very expensive] dentist has changed his practice to only the most complicated and ugly procedures and I have been transferred to someone else; and where the last version of the tooth was fat and heavy like a tombstone in my mouth [appparently to him, necessary] this new one is leaner, lighter and much more comfortable.

And consequently feels much prettier too.