Once upon a time there was a blogger called Morphess who curated this rather brilliant collection of Kiwi language idiosyncrasies. She quit blogging years ago, the blog languished in the vapour of the interweb and also in my archives as I was the technologist who looked after the site and kept it online for a while there. She quit out of the blue, things went a bit tits up, I think, but her archives are still here (Caro, if you want them back, all you gotta do is email me)…
As a dedicated Kiwi myself I have decided that this list is far too good to be kept off the internet and as a consequence I’m posting it here.
Caroline, we miss your blogging, and if by some strange quirk you’re reading this and want me to take it down get in touch!!
Half back scrum half
First five-eighth fly half
Fat mans track notional path up the centre of rugby pitch
Gumby complete lack of coordination.
Rumpus room playroom
Wagging missing school or work
Piker someone who throws in the towel
Pit shop Pet shop
She’s a hard road difficult
Judder bar speed bump
Bach holiday home, pronounced batch
Crib holiday home in Southland and Otago
Sicktion plot of land
Coaster person from the West Coast of the South Island
Westie person from West Auckland, associated with having a mullet.
A shocker mildly disappointing
Woop woops out in the sticks
Waikikamookau fictional town way, way out in the Wop Wops.
Toyota bugger. Long story to do with television advert.
Airgun? How are you going? Greeting
Cow cocky Dairy Farmer
Box of birds O.K.
Box of fluffies O.K.
Sweet as O.K.
Good as gold O.K.
Stink not O.K.
Onya good for you!
Bro’ I’ve forgotten your name
Dairy Corner Shop
Yeah, yeah Possibly
Number Eight Wire Used for everything
Beer bear (teddy)
O.E. Get drunk in London pub with your Kiwi mates.
Glad wrap cling film
Joker man, not necessarily a funny one
Queer cattle strange folk
JAFA Just Another F*%&ing Aucklander.
Rattle Ya Dags Hurry Up
Hard Yakka Hard Work
Turn To Custard Go pear shaped
Grouse! very cool indeed
Great Big Dick Large Verandah
Sook cry baby
She’ll be right. I’ve just cut off my arm with a chain saw.
Skivvy roll neck shirt
Swanndri big coat/dress like thing. Much favoured for hunting and killing things in.
Jandals Flip Flops
Food & Drink.
Trum mook low fat milk
Hokey Pokey Ice cream disgusting/delicious (depending on your tastes) vanilla ice cream with bits of Crunchie.
Bring a plate ….with some food on it.
Chilly Bin Cooler
Smoko Tea break. And it’s illegal to smoke.
Supper Late night snack
Hot Chips Chips
Our Mate marmite
Rice Bubbles Rice Crispies
Smokers tiny, pink aniseed-flavoured sweets.
Colonial goose stuffed leg of mutton.
Lemmincktons lamingtons (vile cake)
Flet White Cup of Coffee
Ice block frozen juice on stick.
Do You Want A Wine? Alcoholic beverage, not an excuse to talk about your mother.
Things not to say at a dinner party.
I met a really nice Australian the other day.
So, the English won the rugby.
Paul Holmes seems like a nice bloke.
I live in Auckland.
Did you see the cricket?
I’m so glad Michael Barrymore lives here now.
What’s all this about the foreshore?
With thanks to Jessie, Mike, Lil, Martin, Llew, Martha, Clods, Deirdre, Jono, Antipo, Flying Kiwi, HotnSpicy Kiwi, Duh-Mension, Fi and Deeleea.