I’m not sure if it’s possible to write this post without coming across as bitter and twisty, though, in my defence, while I am disappointed by the behavior accounted below I’m not grieving for anything other than being treated with a modicum of respect. The thing I’m most concerned about is that it’s not the first time. If I didn’t know better I’m starting to think my experience is the rule and good manners the exception and doesn’t that just make me feel like I’ve become *sharp intake of breath* my mother.
And so, our story begins…
A couple of months ago and funnily enough, at Bliss’ suggestion (if you’ve been reading since the beginning she was egging me on when I first started documenting this dating business), I signed up to the ‘next big thing’ in dating websites.
You may well have seen the ads, it’s a site that rather than presenting a smorgasbord of profiles and pictures of singluar hopefuls have to surf through, it does the matching for you (according to your stringent criteria) and sends you details of profiles that are compatible – basically, it takes out some of the guess work and the whole ‘pick n mix’/pot luck of traditional dating sites.
So far I’ve been reasonably impressed with the offerings – and to cut a long and tedious story short, over the last 6 weeks or so I’ve happily corresponded with a P.O.P** Our emails were sparkling with wit and enthusiasm, our interests and lifestyle were ridiculously compatible and so as you do, we met up for a date.
It was a nice; a civilised dinner where the conversation flowed, and that honestly, was the first time I’ve been out with someone who I liked – not so much as to have a ‘crush’ but enough that I would have happily seen him again and spent time in his company!
So, post-date our correspondence continued (as evidenced by daily long and detailed emails and text messages and a phone call or two) and though I maintained a philosophical approach, a ‘que sera sera’ demeanour, I harboured a little hope that we’d see each other again, and that if nothing else, we had potential to be good friends.
(Do I really need to tell you where this is going? )
So, here we are 3 weeks after our date, and the contact has diminished abruptly (overnight!), after his last email chatting about his week and weekend and my reply in the same vein last weekend – there has been nothing since.
It isn’t that he doesn’t want to see me again that bothers me… THIS is what gives me a pain. That he doesn’t have the communication skills/bollox to say, “Hey Dee, just checking in to say that it was great to meet you. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve decided to ‘keep looking’ and as such, this email will be my last. I wish you all the best”, regards, Gutless Wonder.
(see, not bitter and twisty at all).
I’m a smart, sassy, strong woman who doesn’t feel afraid of speaking my mind and I’m not so fragile that his disinterest is going to cause me any lasting grief; disappointment, sure, I’m human, but I’m secure in myself that I’m valuable (let’s be realistic, FABulous) with or without his interest and because of that, I think I deserve to be treated respectfully. The frustrating thing is that what I really want to do is send him a rocket and a large piece of my mind – but I’ve too much self respect even for that…
… so I’m writing this post instead…
*Godly Online Dating Sites/Services
** Person of Potential
he might be dead? in hospital? (you know I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate here) … why not send him a slightly smaller rocket and just flat out ask ‘what the heck?’ ….
and then let me know where he lives and I’ll go and kick him in the shins for being disrespectful! :)
Yeah! Where does he live! Me and my posse are gonna go round and deal to him!
You deserve better.
Gosh, the poor fella, between you and Miss Lisa he doesn’t stand a chance!! I should send him a link to the blog… ha, that’d be funny.
be scared little man, be very very scared!!!!!!!!!!!
I HOPE for his ‘sake that he is dea… somehow incapacitated! Redheaded fury on the way if you need a wingwoman to physically kick his arse!
LOLS, Redheaded fury. I like that a LOT
Aunty Helpful Dictator says
I know… I hate that… I’d actually be quite happy if they just had the decency to tell the truth even if it’s. “I won’t be continuing our correspondence because as it happens I met someone else and we’ve decided to give it a go”. Which I think is totally fair enough, but to just stop and say nothing… gah!
At least I now know it’s not just irish boys that do that!
I know, right? Silly behaviour all round!
I love what AHD said! “At least I now know it’s not just Irish boys that do that!” Well, at least I now know it’s not just American boys that do that!
You think it’s fear? I think it’s fear. I mean, he had good enough communication skills to hold your interest for a number of weeks. The only conclusion I have is that he had no cohones to begin with. So, when push came to shove, the poor guy could not fake it for the sake of a gentlemanly goodbye. What does he have to fear? Who know. Looking like a fool maybe? A hurt look on your face? Your redheaded friend possibly being around the corner?