Singular Scene

So Singular in Each Particular

The Deeleea Interview!

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Fi delivered an irresistible invitation over at Kiwifruit this morning – something along the lines of “leave a comment if you want me to interview you”. Well. it’s irresistible alright when you are a living in an obscurity you feel you don’t deserve… [joke…] (If you would like me to interview you just leave a comment! I’d love to oblige.)

1) You’ve been living in Aussie for quite a while now. Are there essential differences between NZ and Oz as a nation? Or are we really just the same but with slightly different accents?

Different, totally different. It seems to me that Kiwis are a lot easier to get to know – to make lasting friendships with! Weird huh? You’d expect a lot more similarities; I know I did, actually it was a good 4 years before I felt really at home here. And to tell the truth my best mate here in Oz is another Kiwi!

In Oz you can’t just drop in for a cuppa if you’re driving by, you have to call first. And having the family just rock up and stay the night is out of the question… (Unless of course it was planned in advance.)

In all honestly this may be just a Sydney thing … big city etc. maybe country folk are a bit cruisier… However I reckon there is a definitely more spontaneous nature in NZ and it certainly feels as though us cuzzy bros are a lot more trusting of others.

(I hope none of my Ozzie readers aren’t offended, like I say, I may be completely wrong… it’s just that this is the way things have felt to me…)

2) What is your most cherished possession and why?

Oh gosh… the laptop. It is my contact with the big wide world, my livelyhood, my photo album, my jukebox, my diary, and lately my love life …

Damn, I definitely need to get out more…

3) What is something that you are determined to do before you leave this mortal coil (or cark it ;))

Do I have to be totally honest???

[blushes]

To have sex…

I prefer not to elaborate beyond that, though the reason as to why this might be so is all tied up in the answer to question 5.

4) What is your fondest memory of your mother? And of your father?

Of Mum – Being there in the early stages of her emergence from a coma. While her words didn’t match what she was trying to communicate, and her hands behaved contrarily and frustrated the living daylights out of her, the thing she was trying to make known was that she knew us and wanted to hug us. That she was alive, that she knew us. That we hadn’t lost her altogether. Still breaks me up.

Of Dad? … This is harder, some of the the most memorable moments weren’t great. I guess the fondest is hearing him tell only a few years ago that me he loved me, and knowing he meant it.

5) You’re a very spiritual sort of person – tell me what God means to you.

The short answer is everything – which isn’t fair for others reading who would find that difficult to understand so I think the best explanation is to describe what it feels like.

It feels like anything is possible because I’m backed up by the biggest big brother/father/friend in the universe.
It feels like all hell can come against me and everything will be ok, because if He’s with me who can be against me?
It feels like I have nothing to fear.
It feels like nothing I have done in the past will be held against me either now or in the hereafter – ever… (phew)
It feels like believing what He said about life, believing how He made it and believing how He can fix what went wrong with it, makes living make sense to me.

I feel like I have peace- more than that, I know I have peace – and while sometimes anxiety kicks in it never lasts. I know where I came from, I know where I’m going and while I know that things here aren’t perfect, that people and plans change, that life never quite turns out like you had anticipated, I feel secure. Totally secure. I don’t have to flog myself to be acceptable, I don’t have to be anything but me. Because He loves me that much, how can I respond except with love in return? As a result I make sacrifices willingly (including point 3) basically because I’ve seen the damage done when one lives with only oneself in mind – I fully prefer not to do that damage to myself or others.

Strangely, living this way hasn’t hurt much at all – actually it feels very much as though it has made me free.

All Atwitch

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I am jangly, twitchy-itchy, unfocussed and distracted.

I am feeling the burden of creativity and the lack of an outlet for it. I need a piano and a piece of manuscript for an hour, an uninterupted afternoon with the camera, a paintbox and easel… Something, anything to calm the harried beast!!!

Arrrgh.

This weekend will see me working, I went back to the agency and arranged more sitting on babies, so, after last night, another 2 evenings straight will be spent doing sites while I watch Lifestyle on Fox and [hopefully] the tiddlers sleep. It’s totally brilliant for earning cash but less brilliant for soothing creative nerves.

I need to sing actually, I am missing Jonah – and strokingly for my ego they are missing me. Kirk keeps me up to date with the latest repertoire (a John Lenon classic this term) and also serves to keep me focussed on going back there next term where my solo awaits me for the end of year concert at the Basement. Happily they are singing in a local church service next Sunday evening so if you’re keen to come along and hear them let me know and I’ll save you a seat (and tell you where to find them!!!).

Mr Africa hasn’t emailed me this morning… the first day he’s missed, and like a total girl I’m wondering if it’s something I said! What is it about us girls that leaps immediately to that conclusion? Intellectually I know I’m being a complete twit but I really missed getting up this morning and cacking myself over the next installment…

So, the jangles probably have two pathologies actually. Actually, I’m dying to write to him because to do so calms both the creative beast and tantilises the girly princess but I’m refusing to do so for fear of looking like a total needy-stalker…

[shakes head pathetically and has another coffee…]

Ed. do you think adding caffiene induced jangling is a good idea?…

Dee. Shut up Ed.

Patchwork Day

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A totally bizarre, and not altogether pleasant day.

1. Nooman excitedly told me this morning we go to Hawaii in a month.. A MONTH… day spirals out of control and stress levels hit the roof…

Out of Control is the absolute guarantee of stress for Deeleea. A choleric by nature, control must be wrested from all situations before appetite goes and skin breaks out… Nausea has set in… and so I should [Insert Faith quote of choice] and remember [insert Jesus scripture about all things working out] and hopefully tomorrow should be a better day.

2. In the course of a normal email forwarding between my new client, a supplier of his, and myself I came across a comment by my friend(his supplier) to him (client) offering to contribute to the new web project… undoubtedly for money… money that would otherwise go to me because I have been contracted to do the work. Not sure if she meant for me to see it or not… Oh well I did see it and now I’m ticked at her for stepping on my toes. Bah humbug.

3. There are too many people at work who take advantage of the fact I have a desk not an office and stop by my desk to tell me what the want on the website. I don’t function well this way, especially while I am concentrating… Remembering that I work in a Christian environment you will be amused that I nearly swore at a senior pastor today because he startled me by stepping into my field of view, very close up, and didn’t realise I was unable to hear him due to the Coldplay in my ears… Wish I’d said it aloud just to see his face… *grin*

4. Had a blast from the past when Miss Step, a girl I was in school with msn’ed me after dinner… I nearly blocked her invitation because I didn’t recognize her name and was relieved I hadn’t when it was revealed the name belonged to her partner so I could be forgiven for the lack of recognition… It’s been 20 years since we left school (OMG) and I doubt I’ve seen her since. Not the usual course of conversation, largely as I’m the full on Christian girl with a job in the church and she’s the full on lesbian with a partner and a son donated by artificial means…. surreal. Still, I was unfazed actually, such things are not unheard of in my family, and we chatted for an hour and caught up on 20 years worth of history. Of course long conversation meant that I didn’t achieve any of the work I had meant to do.. [refer back to 1.]

5. On a somewhat more interesting note I have a new YGM (you’ve got mail). This one is completely outlandish, a lefty, South African, black (I suspect, as he hasn’t contributed a picture yet), catholic, totally ridiculous but completely irresistable to write to.

You’re asking how I even got involved in such a correspondence aren’t you?? Normally if there’s no picture it’s a no go, well, to tell the truth, he writes the way I do, our conversations have totally been on the same wavelength (or will be till we get to politics and religion) and are hysterically funny.

It’s stupid to be imagining a relationship, but I’d be lying if the girlish part of me wasn’t revelling in his interest. I had cpme away from my conversation with Miss Step feeling seriously sub par, we’ve both aged, and gained upholstery and as she chatted on about us getting old and queried my feelings on my childlessness (good Christian girls hardly have her options) my crap day was compounded in spite of the pleasantness of the conversation in general. So, Mr Africa is a welcome diversion and made me feel girly again.

I hereby give you leave to keep reminding me that I’m mad to be flirting, and not to let me allow my heart to engage in this silly firtation…

Just in case I start telling you it’s a good thing black men like girls with big bums…

Inside Enemy Territory

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The Big Thing for Boys is in full swing…

I got up particularly early to be here and register them all for next years Boys Big Thing and now that the 1st session is in, well, session I am at my desk with a pounding head and a cold coffee getting ready for the next round.

Now, there could be considered some benefit at spending the whole day at a conference for men when you are a single girl on the look out. But most of them are wearing gold… and it is a slightly awkward feeling actually being such a minority… almost like being in another culture. And to tell the truth it seems us girls here are being viewed with a certain amount of suspicion by the delegates… like we are going to find out those secret men’s business secrets that we have no business knowing!! Not an ideal breeding ground for romance!

In other news, I found out today that I do in fact have Monday off in lieu, no one had mentioned it because they were afraid we were going to expect hour for hour of an exchange for the work we have put in, and you can’t be doing with that can you?

[insert quizzically raised eyebrow…]