Singular Scene

So Singular in Each Particular

Core Values in Conflict

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In a staff development session some months ago one of the Managing Directors spent some time lecturing the staff concerning core values. It sparked a few thoughts in me, actually, it also resolved some of the underlying reasons I was getting rather edgy with work in that it helped me recognise that my core values were being pressured by the values of my employer.

Now, I realise that I am bound to start wading out into some deep and choppy water by pushing this boat out particularly as I know a lot of my readers are either unfamiliar with the work life in this kind of (Christian) environment in general or are involved with different, expressions of Christian faith. So, forgive me if I appear to be treading carefully… It’s because I am!

Here’s the crux of the matter…

I have set myself some fairly rigid boundaries of late and one of these is only working the hours I get paid for.

My reasons for taking the hard line have a lot to do with spending no small number of years without boundaries around my private life at all and suffering some fairly hefty consequences. Sadly, a lot of these boundaries were trampled on in relation to my work.

Yep, in relation to my work for a Christian organisation…

Taking this stance has come into conflict with this organisation’s core values of being a servant, of excellence and of teamsmanship.

So I find myself having a s**t of a day today all because of one email outlining my role in the Next Big Thing. A Big Thing put on for a particular section of our fellowship which Does Not include me in any sense and in a role that requires my attendance from 5pm – 9pm Friday and All Day Saturday.

Now, I know that I won’t have to work on Monday by way of a day in lieu and I know that there are other members of the crew who are happy to do whatever is required to be of assistance, (which brings me into conflict not only with the team leaders but other members of the team).

And yet… it makes me wonder where Jesus stands on issues such as these while He is watching us do the Big Things. It makes me wonder whether “Losing your life for me” means a commitment to be available all hours in the name of putting on a Great Event (among the other sacrifices that are expected in working for ‘the Lord’).

Now, don’t get me wrong… I believe in the message of the Gospel. I believe in it enough to want to take it to my unchurched friends. I believe in it enough to be working for an organisation whose primary goal is preaching that message. But on days like today I seriously have to question whether ‘losing one’s life for gospel to save it’ means that we should be spending a weekend making sure the fee paying delegates are having a good time or whether we should instead be extending a hand to our neighbours in more practical, meaningful ways.

Outlook for Friday

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I am going to be late for work.

I know this because it is now 8.34 am and I start work at 9.

It takes 15-17 minutes for me to get there and as we speak my shoes aren’t on and my hair isn’t done.

I’m ok with this, becuause I have to stop at the Post Office on the way to work. The Post Office doesn’t open till 9.

I am stopping at the Post Office because I have a parcel to collect.

That’s how I know I am going to be late.

And why I am ok about it… *Cheesy Grin*

One Year On

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It hardly seems credible to me that I have been doing this for a year.

A whole year.

It is mysterious indeed that I have never been able to support a diary in a book with any regularity at all; a week maybe but no more, and yet, a journal that amounts to the same thing has gone on for a year and seems likely to go on to another… maybe more!!

My friends are fairly mystified as to the appeal of this blogging phenomenon. It has caused me to pause for thought as to why I do it. On the face of it, t is somewhat strange to reveal so much of one’s life to strangers and yet this has felt like a totally natural thing to do!

Over the course of the year I have been greatly encouraged by the support I have received as part of the blogging community, I have made friends, people I would never have ‘met’ otherwise and this has enriched my life greatly… I have explored Orthodoxy along with Ian, I have been prodded to sing more by Semele and I have laughed out loud at Yay’sTales. With honorable mentions of course to Smudgie and Jack… (yes, of course and Everyone Else!!!) It’s marvellous to be part of this community!! Really marvellous. I have learned so much, laughed as we have swapped faith stories, and family stories, and celebrated life… with all it’s perils and pitfalls and tragedy and comedy!! When it all comes down, that’s what friendship’s about isn’t it?

I guess the appeal for me about writing this journal goes beyond the community aspect. I simply write about me. My thoughts and feelings, my successes and failings. So while I have maintained the blog because of the community of the readership I really only write it for me.

That means what I write is simply for my benefit, and I derive a great deal of benefit from writing my thoughts down, it helps me solidify what I am feeling, sifting the good from the bad.

Some process life by drawing I guess, others by playing piano or mowing the lawn… Me? I process in text… So, while you hear a great deal about my life you don’t hear it all, the stuff that doesn’t get processed in public does in fact get processed in text… just in the old fashioned, hand written kind!!! And a lot less regularly!

However as this is feeling a bit garbled.. and not really very helpful at processing my thoughts about blogging (because it’s midnight here…)

What I really want to say is simply: Thanks.

For reading along, for praying, for meeting up, for playing WISE, for the laughs, the tears and for the community.
Because sometimes, even with our brilliant homes and families and church fellowships we need people who are outside of our usual sphere to make us open our eyes to a bigger world than the one we live in.

And better still to help us laugh at it.