Singular Scene

April 11 is an auspicious day in Deeleeaville actually. Not a birthday but an Anniversary.

You see, last year April 11 was Easter Sunday and on Easter Sunday 2004 my world got turned upside down.

It’s a bit awkward really, because I could speak volumes about it and get into hot water if he were to stumble across this blog. I think it unlikely, but for safety’s sake let’s just that say on that day, someone I was in a very close relationship with was revealed to be something that he was not.

It’s a disturbing thing to find out that everything that you think about someone is false and the reverse is true; it is a truly disturbing thing to find out that everything you thought you were doing with that person is of no value and was to serve their own agenda. It is a distressing thing to find out that you have been played for a fool for the best part of 3 years and you were completely oblivious.

I guess that’s the definition of being played for a fool isn’t it?

Completely Oblivious.

So, I Severed All Ties. And haven’t seen him or any of the people he keeps company with for one whole year. I have never even bumped into him in town. Clearly our travelling circles have moved away from each other’s or I have been shielded by some force greater than my own wish not to meet him.

I am grateful for that and yet one year later I am tempted once again to touch base, to show him a little of my world now. To peek into his and see what has changed, if anything, if for good or for not. But I know that to do so is to invite more trouble than I ever want to see again and so, in spite of the loss that is to me I Abstain.

If I honestly thought that he would see just how badly damaged I was, and some of my friend too for that matter and if I thought that he would be able to look me in the eye and say “I am sorry” and know that he meant it I would feel as though a meeting might be valuable, might bring some closure to me.

But I know deep down this is not the case so I carry that little bit of unfinished business and keep trucking along.

Even for me to write and say “Look! I am well! I am succeeding without you!” might feel on the surface to actually close that final curtain on us, or to say “Actually, I am excelling without you!” would feel like a great thing to be able to just make that little dig, but it would achieve nothing and open a dangerous door.

So, I carry on. Accept that a chapter is closed and sigh that I could have been a lot worse of than I am.

I could still be with him and I am not.

That is good.

That is very good…unfinished business or not.

I have been ‘resting’. Which is slightly bizarre actually. I am regularly in possession of thoughts that I think I should be writing down for you, gentle reader but when I actually start to type it all sounds like bollocks (pardon my english).

So I have been reading and not writing.

Until now.

Actually, it isn’t as though there is very much to say, even at this point but if I don’t post something I fear I may forget how to do it at all…

So, to date I have been having a marvellous holiday. I was pleased to find mother in fine form which is a nice. It was actually not a little amusing to find her relieved that she didn’t have to entertain me on Friday night so she could go out with her girls rather than dropping everything for my visit. This is a Good Thing by the way, for if you have read my post about her accident you will know that fine form is not always mode du jour.

I have moved on from mother to pa and am spending the weekend back down on the farm. I had the obligaire wander round the property and we were followed by the 3 cats who usually do the evening tour of duty with Dad as he checks on the plants and the rabbit situation and other day to day sort of checking things [and thinking things, i suspect] that farm chaps do.

We spent this evening at the movies watching Being Julia which was an unexpected treat. I had heard a brief synopsis and had not felt sooo enthusiastic but as it was Dad’s shout went along for the ride!!! I am not much of a movie reviewer and so I will say I loved it and recommend it highly! That and the delicious Indian dinner we followed it up with.

Monday I am heading to Sis’s place for the week to spend it with her and Scooter and Mr Sis. That will be a relaxing week. I want to say “Yay, I am going to sis’ house!” but that get’s a bit confusing in case Yay thinks I am talking to her…

Hmmm I will say Yippee instead….

Yippee!!

HUGE Day, and right at the top of the list of best birthdays ever.

First… Thanks for all the birthday greetings!!! Speshially for the BarryTenor Rendition of Happy Birthday (and yours Smudgie). I believe I can feel the vibes between Baltimore (and IOW)and Cambridge… at least I will be able to by the time they get here…

Second… Thanks to Fi for being my first ever blogmeet… that’s an auspicious beginning to my birthday. It was great to have a face for the name and the stories and it was actually the inspiration for the Inaugural Anzac Wibmeet…

Third… Lunch with the sisters and Ticker and Scooter (nephew – 16mo). Ticker slept through the whole event… will have to give him goodbye snuggs when I go back through Auckland on the way home.

Fourth… Family dinner at Muvvers. Chicken roast, proper Kumara and Chocolate Torte… Tooooooo Goood… but other best thing about family dinner was being world famous. Jem and Kit (Nephew 4 and Niece 7) think I am the bees knees… and who am I to argue… I have never had soooo many kisses in one day!!! Love is in the Air. It might not be romantic lurve but it is bloody marvellous… and will be hard to give up.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and as I am leaving Auckland for points south and family celebrations we adjourned to Ponsonby Road for dinner to celebrate slightly early. We being, Me, Sis, Perez, Croak, Blue and Lorry (Blue’s Husband).

Given that I am an organized soul who likes to plan ahead I had consulted A Certain Person as to suggested venues for Birthday Celebrations and was pointed in the direction of here. I chose the restaurant and made an online booking. Having received my confirmation email indicating that the plan was moving along in the right direction no suspicions were aroused as to this place being A Bad Idea…

Today I rang the restaurant and told them that the numbers would be reduced. The Person On The End of the phone was very polite, said this would be fine and advised that the menu was a bit limited this evening. Apparently there were issues with their suppliers and that not Everything on the menu would be available. Hmmm a certain indication of Trouble Afoot …”The Menu Will be A Bit Limited This Evening”. However, I felt that he implied that all would be ok.

Perez and I arrived a little early so as to be there when everyone else arrived and noticed a sign on the door of the Restaurant.

“Closing at 8pm for stocktake.”

[Jaw Dropping Awe]

The restaurant was EMPTY … One table for 6 was set … and our booking was for 7.30 and so we would have had half an hour to order and eat…

“What The?????”

Croak went inside and had a wee chat to the Maitre d’ and we did a bit of a scout to find alternate venues… All the while trying to touch base with Blue and Lorry and Sis who were coming together and due to Babysitter Issues, were running late…

Well, we decided to eat at Troy instead, given that it wasn’t too far from the Red Dog and made our way upstairs for dinner. Still mystified that the Dog never told us we would be much better to find an alternative… I think because I had booked from Australia they felt as though I wasn’t actually a legitimate booking and so weren’t actually expecting us!!!

Troy was an acceptable alternative…

After an hysterical game of spot the spelling mistakes on the menu we ordered from a variety of Turkish, Italian and New Zealand meals on offer.

The plates came piled high, the food was good (not incredible, just good) but halfway through our conversations the restaurant lights suddenly dimmed and the disco ball started a frantic turn giving the distinct impression of a UFO trying to avoid a crash landing.

The Music Started… a LOUD, Cranking rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” Sounding freakishly like some 70’s disco hits party cd.

Ghastly.

I shrank low into my chair, peeking through my fingers hoping desperately that the cake and candles coming up behind me were going to keep walking past…

The waiter in the leopard print shirt, a size or two too small, slowed down to show me the cake 2 candles… both of them the number 2.

Definitely not my cake.

A sigh of relief was expelled and on we went with dinner.

Conversation was fairly offspring heavy, Perez and I the only non-parents there but we managed well enough, Perez is a teacher and I a former nanny so I can Kidspeak with the best of them…

The bottom of the last glass of wine approaches and thoughts turn to coffee and perhaps the dessert menu and so a quick trip to the ladies is in order. This accomplished, Blue and I adjourn to back to the others. After a quick stop at the kitchen on the way to inquire of the waiter where he got his fantastic leopard shirt (here) we take our places back at the table just in time for the lights to dim…

And to clear the disco ball for take off,

Cue ’70’s party mix …

‘Happy Birthday to Dee…”

*Blush* It isn’t even my birthday today…