Singular Scene

So Singular in Each Particular

Loose Ends

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First off is a nod to James who has been posting images from around Australia lately… He posted one from Queenscliff, Victoria I thought you might like to see one of Queenscliff NSW… Actually, this is my neck of the woods, in fact you can actually see my unit block in it! If you are in the neighbourhood and up early enough you might see me walking along grass strip above the lagoon (rhs of the picture) all the way up to the beach and from there all the way to the top of the picture (Manly) and back… it takes about an hour round trip and I did it this morning for the 1st time in ages… Consequently I am rather sore this evening…

Second is a quick report for Ian who wanted a rundown on church last night. It was brilliant, Ken Duncan the photographer I mentioned showed us some of the images from his latest book ‘Reflections’. What a legend, the book is a series of images of Australia and quotes from Scripture and various people and is absolutely stunning. It was awesome to see someone who is so widely known so unashamed of his faith in God and so gobsmacked by creation. A great night. Bet and I had a great time there and finished the night off with a trip to the pub… A perfect evening!

Finally I actually need to log off as I have a girlfriend coming over to use the computer… eeek! A whole eveing with out it… I might need a couple of wines (hmmm wine … lovely stuff) by way of an anaesthetic… I will just have to watch the 2nd last episode of Friends instead… yes we are WAY behind… thanks a heap Channel 9 …

Restorative Properties of Sleep

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Well, I have 2 hours to go in the babysitting marathon… will be ringing Bet and suggesting coffee before church rather than spending the whole afternoon together. I am really keen to go church tonight as a rather well known Australian photographer will be showing of images from his new book… Let’s say I have a keen interest in seeing photographers who are stunning the world… Great inspiration… Otherwise I would probably reschedule till next week sometime…

The kids (3) I have sat for this weekend are great friends who I have been sitting for for about 4 years… needless to say they have grown up A LOT in that time and we are all pretty much family now… I love it… The little guy is the last person to propose to me… though at 7 years old now he would be embrassed to be reminded that I was his no 2 girl when he was 5 (Mum was number 1 but married already…).

I have to confess though, my patience was shorter than usual last night due to my shallow emotional tank… Still, I think I might have got away with it, I was lenient on the bed time for them but hard on myself and so, with around 10 hours sleep I am feeling a bit more on the level.

Thank goodness…

And then, I saw this article on the NZ Herald website. Only wish these fares were coming up before Christmas rather than in the New Year…

Biting Off More Than One Can Chew

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I think I am going to be very thin by time the weekend is over. I wish I meant upholstery wise but actually am erring more toward the emotional depth I will be capable of… If being on the verge of tears as I am now is anything to go by I fear I am in for a pounding…

I worked a full week, as I always do, I have been booked for a babysitting job tonight (which I usually do on Friday nights) and I have a 24 hour babysitting job on tomorrow till Sunday lunch.

*Deep Breath*

Then… I am meeting up with Bet and we are going to church together… Then I am going back to work on Monday…

… Gah … The only thing I can change is Bet, and I haven’t seen her in ages…

Why do I do this to myself?

Here’s why.

I need a lot of dollars so I can go home for Christmas. Maybe I should just shelve the trip ’till a less stressful time… but I really want to see the family and spend some downtime away from work and church and life.

I also need enought dollars to cover Bliss’ rent till the Count moves in (I’ll tell you about him tomorrow). I have just paid the power bill, my car needs a service and I am desperate for a summer wardrobe…

So…

If you have any brilliant (legal) ideas for making shedloads of money in a short amount of time… I’m all ears.

Singularly Safe

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There’s a line in the movie “Something’s Gotta Give” which goes something like this

Marin (Amanda Peet): … “I’m just not cut out for this kind of drama. “
Erica (Dianne Keaton): “I think it’s the drama in life that makes you strong.”

The context of the quote is Erica is falling apart because a relationship has ended and Marin, who can’t bear the emotional upheaval of that kind of situation, is outlining her reasons for avoiding any sort of relationship that leaves you in that kind of state.

I know how she feels and I wonder if part of the reason there are so many single girls in my acquaintance is that we make that choice to withold and actually withdraw from emotional interaction unless we know it’s safe from hurt.

But really… is it ever safe? Even those relationships that one expects to be the safest rarely are. Family relationships change, pets are not around forever. The truth is, however much we try and avoid it, whether we like it or not, emotional upheaval is a part of life.

I hate that, because I have a tendency to think like Marin. Safest is easiest, I mean, I haven’t even watched the movie ‘Titanic’ from beginning to end… I can’t bear getting that involved with the characters because I know how the movie ends.

So, here I am 36 years old, never having had a really intimate, long term relationship and I can’t help wondering if those sentiments have influenced my relationship life. It is easy to say, “I just don’t think the right guy has come along…” but the fact is, would I have recognized him? Could he have been any number of the guys I have met and discarded at first sight because it was safer not to get involved?

Does my internal thought about relationships create an atmosphere of unavailability around me? I know a heap of guys who are awesome and single and while a lot of what I hear around the place is that they are useless and don’t bother to ask the amazing single girls around here out I have to ask myself, if I was coming across as a little less distant would they would change their tune?… I mean, it’s a two way street right?

So that’s what some of this year has been about… making a decision to take a risk… So, when someone asks I’m going to say YES* even if at first sight I might have thought NO…

At least I’ll be getting out more …

*axe wielding maniacs excepted, of course