It was Romme night tonight… It must look a sight through our front room windows… 4 gorgeous chicks sitting at the dinner table surrounded by finger food, drinking champagne…

And playing cards…

Bizarre…

The kitty is up to $20.00 lots of points won tonight… We’ll be having a right royal night out at the rate we are going..

10 bucks a night over 6 weeks? Should be good for a night of *ahem* bowling…

Oh boy … my social life is right off the Richter Scale…

I am rewriting this post because I deleted the last one by haccident… I know it won’t be quite the same… Sorry

Anyway… the important part was… I am really humbled by the good wishes and virtual hugs from all over the world! Tez can’t compete with that kind of love that’s for sure.

My equilibrium is much more level today, I have had a dummy spit at God and he is still on the throne so that’s good… I spent the day yesterday with the Captain and I am getting my head around .asp (don’t laugh Chris…) and javascript where it relates to the site I look after. A bit of a mind bend but something to keep me occupied.

And Tez?

Well… I actually feel ok… maybe the very act of making the squishy feeling public has exorcised them…

Terrific.

Ooops… have emailed wiblog emergency services… normal service will be resumed shortly.

I hope

.I knew going into this reveal that I was setting myself up to be disappointed. Like I said on Saturday, I know Tez well enough to know that he would have no problem asking if he felt like it. But it doesn’t make it any easier to hear it for sure though does it? The coffin and the nail… hideous.

I really don’t have a whole lot to say (since when???). I guess now comes the process of not allowing my heart to get hard and that nasty period when I have to get over the awkwardness that will colour our pizza nights until we get used to the new glasnost.

I’m over it though (not over him… I’m not superwoman) … but I’m fed up. This is the 2nd time I have had to go through this in the last 8 years and I am really cheesed at God that I am still here looking down the barrel of all those hideous thoughts that you torture yourself with. Spending too much emotional energy imagining why the object of your affection doesn’t look at you with the same eyes.

Last time I went through this all I had to do to get past it was to get on a plane. The temptation to do the same now is strong. Would that it were a little closer to April 2nd.

But, you do what you have to right?

Pick yourself up
Smile again … once an hour, so you don’t forget how
Carry on.

It only takes a second for things to change